you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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