Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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