you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
