We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
