fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
