before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
