There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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