I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
