This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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