Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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