what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
