Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
