I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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