She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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