escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
