i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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