Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
