there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
