So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize