Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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