paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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