I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
