Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize