i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
