i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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