i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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