You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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