Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
