Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize