I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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