dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
