Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
