shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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