I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
