so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
