Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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