PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
