a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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