sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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