plz talk dirty to me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
