so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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