i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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