I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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