you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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