oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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