Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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