Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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