Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my liver is dry heaving
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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