i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
