Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
im on a boat
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