I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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