Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
