she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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