Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
