you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
