did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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