That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
