I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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