Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
