How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So vagazzling was a success
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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