we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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