got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We left the knife in your bed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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