never play flip cup with pint glasses
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
