I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
