He disabled his match.com account in front of me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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